Façade
by Killer Zebra
Summary: Squeaky-Toy and Peachblossom conspire to get the oblivious Kel and Dom together. K/D oneshot. It's all Tammy's!


**Façade**

Keladry of Mindelan was in love. It had taken her a long time to realize that this was different than the crushes of her former years, but now she knew. This wasn't something that would fade away with time. This would always be with her, in peace and in war, in sickness and in health. For the first time she thought she understood those age-old wedding vows.

But she wasn't dreamy and euphoric, giddy with young love. No, she was miserable. She hid it behind her mask, but the knowledge that the object of her affections was the biggest flirt at court, **(AN: AKA a man-whore, heehee,)** was slowly but surely wearing down her morale. His incessant flirting was so much worse than if he had been ignoring her; she played along, but it ripped her heart apart to know that he didn't mean it. To him it was all just a game.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Domitan of Masbolle was in love. He had been in love affairs before, with various court beauties, but he knew now that what he'd felt for them was nothing like love. Lust, and the feeling of being the strong one in the situation had attracted him to the delicate court ladies, but now that he knew what true love was like, those affairs seemed shallow and pointless.

He had been friends with her first. Once you got through her mask, she was charming and sweet. Someone he could grow to love so easily. He hadn't even noticed when he ceased being interested in the ladies at court. Then, when she almost died on that hare-brained escapade in Scanra, he realized that his feelings for her had deepened and intensified immeasurably, from friendship to love.

He had tried to let her know how he felt, but she just laughed him off. If she had put on her mask, then he might have held out some hope that she was only hiding her true feelings. But she hadn't. She had laughed and joked with no stiffness at all. To her it was all just a game.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Nealan of Queenscove was in love. And married happily with a baby on the way. The author just wanted to keep up the tradition. Ignore her. To her it is all just a game.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

**(AN: Ahem. So, Neal. Here goes!) **

Neal was married to the woman of his dreams, they had a baby on the way, and the long-lasting war with Scanra was finally over. He was wildly happy with his life at the moment, (well, some of the time,) except for one not-so-small flaw: His cousin and his best friend were miserable, and coincidentally were making _him_ miserable. Dom was growing increasingly desperate with his unceasing flirting, and Kel's skull seemed to get thicker every day.

Everyone could tell that Dom loved the lady knight, and they pitied him, never guessing that Kel felt the same way. Not even Neal had seen past her carefree façade, until she confided her misery in him. Yuki hadn't looked surprised when he told her, but that was to be expected. After all, she was Yamani.

But they had been dancing around each other for _months_ now, and Neal would have told on them long ago if both they and Yuki hadn't threatened to castrate him if he so much as breathed a word about each other's feelings.

Raoul had even assigned the Third Company to New Hope, and the King had changed the law about men in the Own getting married, so there was nothing at all standing in the way of their relationship. Except, of course, two very very thick skulls.

After one particularly frustrating incident where Dom's leg had been injured in a skirmish and Kel had hovered by his side like a love-struck court lady, Neal decided that it was time to do some subtle matchmaking. To do so in such a way that no one would ever suspect that he was involved. It was time to bring Peachblossom into the mix.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

**AN: _Peachblossom was in lo-_ winces as reviewers yell, "Shut up! Get a new line!"**

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Peachblossom watched with anticipation as his squeaky-toy drew near. He was confused though, as to _why_ Squeaky-toy would do this. He didn't look as though he wasn't paying attention to where he was going, as he usually did when he wandered into the range of Peachblossom's teeth.

As he opened his mouth to bite, the-squeaky-one yelled out something that stopped him; "Wait! Stop! I need your help! _Kel_ needs your help!" This made Peachblossom prick his ears forward. He had noticed that recently his mistress wasn't as cheerful as she used to be, and he was interested in what idea his squeaky-toy had come up with to help.

Neal, when he had sufficiently assured himself that he wasn't going to be bitten, began to speak. "Okay, I'm sure you've noticed that Kel's been acting a little weird lately?" He waited until Peachblossom nodded before continuing. "Well, it's because she's in love with my cousin Dom, and she thinks he doesn't love her back."

Peachblossom made a threatening gesture with his teeth, and Neal hastened to reassure him. "No no no, he does, it's just that Kel doesn't know it, and he doesn't know how she feels either. They just sit around being miserable, and it's driving me crazy! Don't you agree?" Peachblossom nodded mournfully, preoccupied with the fact that the squeaky-toy wasn't actually that bad when he wasn't busy squeaking.

Neal went on, "Dom and Kel and my wife have threatened to castrate me if I do anything, so since you're already castrated, I thought I'd enlist your help."

Peachblossom was slightly offended by the reference to his gelding, but he decided to put up with it for the sake of his mistress. He nudged Neal, as if to say, 'So what do we do?' Neal grinned and said, "Here's the plan. Dom's going scouting later on today; I need you to . . ."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Dom was positive that he was dreaming. He had just walked into the stables to find Meathead inside Peachblossom's stall, leaning against the wall, reading him poetry! This scene was against the fundamental laws of nature.

Peachblossom was lying on the ground, listening attentively, and making no attempt whatsoever to bite.

"My Yamani Blossom,

your breasts are like overripe melons,

when you kiss me it's like an anaconda is sucking my face,

you are fluffy like a marshmallow,

my heart's delight.

**(AN: I just came up with the most ridiculous thing I could think of on the spot, so don't be disappointed that it's nothing fancy.)**

"How was that?" he asked Peachblossom seriously. The horse bobbed his head encouragingly.

Scratch the dream theory. Dom had to be hallucinating in order for _anyone_ to like Meathead's poetry. Neal sighed wistfully as he glanced down at Peachblossom. "Do you think our plan will work?" Peachblossom gave the horse equivalent of a shrug, and Dom was intrigued. This hallucination was pretty interesting.

Neal said, "Kel's such a d*** good actress, not even _I_ could tell that she loved Dom until she told me, and I'm her best friend! Why does she have to be so thickheaded? 'Dom flirts with everybody,' she says, 'He'd never feel that way about me,' she says. Oh well, hopefully when we put our plan into action it will put an end to all this dancing about and not saying what one really means."

Dom's heart twisted inside his chest. Dream, hallucination, whatever this was, it was cruel. He wouldn't stand for it. He turned and walked out of the stable, hoping that he would wake up soon. He walked around a corner— and ran straight into Kel. She stumbled and would have fallen if he hadn't caught her. As her wide hazel eyes gazed up into his, he found himself wishing that this wasn't only a dream, and he lowered his lips down to hers.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Neal was coming from a lovely chat with Peachblossom —the horse actually wasn't that bad when he wasn't busy biting people— when he rounded the corner to find his best friend and his cousin with their arms wrapped around each other, their lips almost touching. "Holy Mithros!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself.

They broke apart hastily and glared at him in unison. _Oh sh**, _he thought. "Oh! He-he-he. Um, continue on! I'll just be going . . ." And he practically ran past them, praying to every god he could think of that they wouldn't follow.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Kel was a little bit dazed. Dom had almost kissed her! It had been close enough that she could be sure that she wasn't imagining things. She was startled out of her reverie when Dom muttered to himself, "This is a cruel, sick, twisted dream."

"Dream?" she said. "This isn't a dream Dom." He looked relieved. "Have I woken up then? Good." He shuddered.

Kel looked at him in confusion. "Um, Dom, I hate to break it to you, but it's the middle of the day, and you're not anywhere near a bed. May I ask what gave you the idea you were dreaming?" Dom gave her an exasperated glance, and said, "If you had seen Peachblossom and Neal having a poetry reading then you'd get the idea you were dreaming too."

Kel's mouth hung open. "Meathead— and _Peachblossom? _Are you okay? You don't have a fever, do you? Holy Mithros, I need to get you to Neal." Ignoring Dom's protests, she dragged him of in the direction Neal had gone, yelling the latter's name.

They found Neal hiding under a bed in the infirmary. "Neal, why are you hiding?" asked Kel, confused. "You're not angry?" verified Neal. "Why would I be angry?" Neal tried to think of a way to avoid answering this, but he finally said, "Because I interrupted, ah, your little 'moment' out by the stables."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Kel briskly. "But Dom's having hallucinations, maybe you are too. Anyway, could you check him out?"

Neal, now concerned, reached out and let his green gift flow over Dom. "He's perfectly fine— except a mild case of shock. What on earth caused you to go into shock?"

Dom said, "Well, I thought I saw you reading poetry to Peachblossom— but I must have fallen asleep somehow and—" He and Kel stared as Neal went red and laughed nervously. "He-he, um, well, that actually . . . Um, that was real."

It was too much for Dom. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS GOING ON! THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD!" At which point he flung himself down on an infirmary cot and went limp.

"Are you sure he's okay? Are you sure he's not _right_?" asked Kel. Neal chuckled. "Like I said; shock, stress. It'd be good if you could stay with him for a while, get him calmed down. I've got to go tell Peachblossom that the plan is canceled." He exited with a grin on his face, leaving the bewildered Kel to deal with Dom.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Dom was overwhelmed. The whole Peachblossom/Neal/hallucination thing had messed with his head to the point where he couldn't be sure that he wasn't _still_ hallucinating. Then he had an epiphany: if he hadn't been hallucinating when he saw Neal reading poetry to Peachblossom, then that meant that neither had he been hallucinating when he heard Neal tell Peachblossom that Kel was in love with him. It would explain how they had almost kissed out in front of the stables. He stood up and whirled around, grinning when he saw Kel's smooth Yamani face.

"You know, when I was eavesdropping on Neal and Peachblossom, I heard something else, and I'm curious to see if that was real too," said Dom.

"And what was that?" said Kel with a grin. Dom rapidly lost his temporary burst of confidence. He couldn't meet her eyes as he muttered, "He said that you loved me."

When he finally glanced up, Kel had her mask on. "I am going to kill Neal," she said quietly.

"Is it true?" demanded Dom. When she turned to leave he grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Is it true? Gods Kel, just tell me!"

Her mask crumbled, and she looked at him with love and despair as she said, "Yes. Now let me go." Stunned, he obeyed, and watched as she made her way towards the door. _Yes._ It was the most beautiful and earth-shaking word that Dom had ever heard.

"I love you too," he whispered, then realized that she couldn't hear him. "Hey wait! Kel!" She turned reluctantly to listen.

"I love you too."

**The End**

**AN: I am so disgusted with myself! I didn't know I was capable of this much gagworthy fluff. Even if there wasn't any kissing. (Runs to toilet and rids self of fluff in stomach-) Review pleeze!**


End file.
